The Mobius strip of my life

I feel like I'm missing something. What I have been doing is all about my future, like if I achieve that, I will get a better job,better payments and a better life. But, will the time that I actually feel like "I'm done" come? Are you sure?

I'm afraid that what if all I'll have are just a wrinkled face, a decrepit body and what I would never get back again?
However, I'm also afraid that what if I'll so regret that I don't do my best at this moment?

Again, there's no solution and I feel like I'm running on the Mobius strip of my life. There's nothing I can do right now but sometimes I feel like maybe, there's a way I can more enjoy my life even though I'm pretty satisfied with my life, now.

The insufficient energy status

One of my office mates asked me, "Why didn't you come to the office, I've not seen you for a long time!!"
.....She's too young to know "the insufficient energy status" and I think she has 4times as much energy as I have.

Hey kid, you'll understand what I'm saying now if you grow old.
At this point, breathing is even really hard....*sigh*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG. I just found that I have to read two papers for a quiz on Thursday this week. Damn it!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn x10000!!!!!
Info. makes me crazy. The professor gives us a quiz every single class so I need to digest a paper written by big guys and usually they wrote down some codes where words are supposed to be and it brings me a serious stomach problem, physically and mentally.

"ATTA MOMMA!'

This is not a character created by myself . This is Japan's animation and I've quite enjoyed several seasons of this animation. The actual characters are as follows.



They're a family of four and the mom is the best character of 'ATTA Momma!" She really makes me laugh! :D

She uses all parts of her body when she cleans up her house every day like my drawing and it stimulates my 'housewife instinct'. No one makes me voluntarily clean my house but the mom makes it! JH and I love the momma because it seems like any kinds of misfortunes can't beat her!!

 I don't know there's a saying here like that "the clean front entrance brings the good news" but we definitely have so how about making your front door clean? :)

My recent desire

I am easily weary of what I have or what I'm doing. I become so passionate to be what I want to be but after having it somehow I lose my interests so I need someone who keeps stimulating me and always have those kinds of people around me.

Becoming a doctoral looked so special before starting my Ph. D program but recently "mom" looks so special and probably that's because my married friends begun having a baby and they're super cute :)

Why do I desire what I don't have?

A happy day :)

I'm so happy, today.

Actually, there's nothing makes me happy but I'm happy!

I'm going to have a quiz tomorrow but I've not read the paper yet and absolutely have no idea about what the author wants to say but I'm happy!

Micro professor keeps saying "it's cool!" and " it's quite cool!" but I can't find the "cool" parts and I want him to break the large body of the theory down and thoroughly explain it but he just read off a bunch of slides without breathing but I'm happy!

My colleagues already finished two homework assignments and even began preparing for the prelim but I've not done anything for the homework, prelim and the upcoming midterms but somehow, I am just so happy.


Everything just will be okay.